he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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