So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I faked an abortion last night.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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