Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
