did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
