I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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