Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
