perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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