I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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