i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
