Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
