Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
