Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
