Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
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im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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