I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
