and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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