he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Everclear isn't food dammit
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
