I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
worst night to have a conscience
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
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The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
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