i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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