How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
