did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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