Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
