I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
