she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
