How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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