your room smells of hookers.
And success
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
