How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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