MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize