you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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