"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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