I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
