Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
