i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
