Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
