you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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