But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
