Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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