She is in my trunk
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
