do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
