If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
