Screwed.edu
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
