her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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