Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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