that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
