I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
