That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
