i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just want to make out with him forever
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
