I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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