He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
