am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
