He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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