his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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