i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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