I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
