I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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