with your own penis?
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
