Pregnant stripper...not hot.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
