a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
