And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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