dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
