when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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