thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
