Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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