Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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