i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
