Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
