I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
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I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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