I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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