Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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