he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
