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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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