we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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