I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
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i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
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Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No...this little piggys going to the bar
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.