I'm so fucking centered right now
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe