I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
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I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
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CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.