Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.

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  (248): I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again. http://tfl.nu/4zrz
  Replies (2) Good night (5088) Bad night (1276)
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  (415): View more from California

  She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.

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  (415): She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver. http://tfl.nu/1xbw
  Replies (39) Good night (800) Bad night (4367)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  how do you have sooo much energy?

  (571): View more from Virginia

  billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week

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  (703): how do you have sooo much energy? (571): billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week http://tfl.nu/czgq
  Replies (16) Good night (4397) Bad night (674)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list

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  (301): This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list http://tfl.nu/qiye
  Replies (14) Good night (4406) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time

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  (317): You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time http://tfl.nu/w7q6
  Replies (13) Good night (7554) Bad night (1002)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table

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  (773): i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table http://tfl.nu/1eyi
  Replies (5) Good night (2678) Bad night (1504)
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  (707): View more from California

  Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.

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  (707): Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage. http://tfl.nu/1an1
  Replies (3) Good night (2262) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.

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  (631): It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots. http://tfl.nu/yevq
  Replies (1) Good night (2300) Bad night (534)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.

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  (262): Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink. http://tfl.nu/n6v7
  Replies (14) Good night (3302) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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  (315): Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ovxs
  Replies (18) Good night (2275) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.

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  (412): I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever. http://tfl.nu/25nu
  Replies (6) Good night (1774) Bad night (389)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So did he inherit the massive family cock?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  :(

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  (317): So did he inherit the massive family cock? (1-317): :( http://tfl.nu/a8a5
  Replies (9) Good night (537) Bad night (2096)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly

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  (716): I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly http://tfl.nu/23d8
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast

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  (440): That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast http://tfl.nu/nk0g
  Replies (6) Good night (533) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts

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  (205): I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts http://tfl.nu/716i
  Replies (0) Good night (364) Bad night (201)

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