Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.