It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.