I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I am mentally ready for anal.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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