I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize