my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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