if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
