It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
