were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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